I'm Zachary Zane, a sex writer, author, and ethical Boyslut (a fancy way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I'm very, very open about it). Over the years, I've had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner" because you know that already. Ask me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.

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Dear Sexplain It,

Is double penetration in an MFM inherently a bi-flexible act, if not fully bisexual, even if the males don’t touch/interact otherwise? Or at the very least, it isn’t a completely straight act?

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— Am I Bi Now?

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Dear Am I Bi Now,

Sex acts don't have sexual orientations; people do. In my experience, the same exact sexual acts can feel "bisexual" or "straight," entirely depending on the context. For example, I've double penetrated a woman with a guy who was not at all attracted to men. In this MFM, the attention was entirely on the woman. We didn't look each other in the eyes. We didn't focus on each other's bodies—only on the woman taking our dicks. But I've also DP-ed women with queer men, and that's a completely different experience, because we're also getting aroused by each other.

For this same reason, it’s not inherently “bisexual” when you watch straight porn, even though there’s a dick in it. However, if you find yourself focusing on the man and his body, well, then that is a little bisexual. In fact, that’s how many closeted queer men first start watching porn. In my book, Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, I write about how I used to love watching gangbangs as a closeted bisexual man. It seemed like a sort of “loophole” where I could still call myself straight after watching it, because there was a woman in it. But I wasn’t focusing on the woman at all. I was focusing on all the sexy men!

All of this is to say: Double penetration during an MFM threesome is as bisexual as you want it to be. So I'm wondering: How bisexual did you want it to be?

Here are some questions for you: What was it about the threesome that aroused you? Was it seeing the amount of pleasure the woman was receiving? Was it hot seeing her get dominated and taking all that dick? Or were you (also) getting aroused by the man? Were you using the threesome as an excuse to see another dude naked (and potentially touch dicks with him)? Did a part of you want to go down on him or have him penetrate you? If you found yourself attracted to the guy, too, maybe that's something you want to explore further.

Whatever happens, your label (if you want to use one at all!) is determined by you—not what you've tried in bed.