MY WHOLE LIFE, I was the smallest one in my class. That was an insecurity that I had.
Some stereotypes I heard growing up were Asians are always going to be small, short, and weak. That’s something I even heard from my mom. Before I left the house, she'd tell me I had to wear a jacket because I could catch a cold. I would tell her, ‘My friends don’t catch colds like that’, and she’d tell me, ‘Oh, trust me, Asians are just weak like that.’ So, I just had this mentality that non-Asians are just stronger.
My mom was actually into fitness without knowing. There's something about the Asian culture where movement is embedded. If you go to the park in an Asian city, you'll see old Asian people doing Tai Chi or calisthenics. My mom would jog every morning, and in the summers, she would take me to the pool and go swim 20 laps. She made me swim laps before I could play. LOL. That was probably the first time I understood you must put reps in if you want to get somewhere.
It was almost as if my mom told me, “You're born with a disadvantage, and this is what you have to do to get stronger.” It was almost like empowering shit talking.
When I was 15, I started lifting with my friends to put on size. I would see these swole-ass Asians that are tatted up and all big, and I would think, “Oh, Asians can get big if they want. My weight went from 135 to 145 to 150 to 155 to 165, but I just didn’t feel like a man. I would mainly do bodybuilding exercises like bench presses, pull-ups, and wide-grip lat pulldowns about six days a week. By my senior year, I had been training for three years and was 175ish pounds. I would then look at myself in the mirror and think I was starting to have a man shape. Then, I joined the Marines.
When you grow up in your town, you have a very small view of the world, so a lot of stereotypes could be reemphasized. Then, you enter the Marine Corps with a platoon of 80 to 90 different dudes. You’re showering with these guys and seeing all sizes and shapes. You see how things that look like a perk could also be a disadvantage. You see a guy that’s 6’3 trying to climb into a tank and getting stuck. Then, the guy that’s 5’10 or under is perfect for that. The Marines really helped me understand and accept all shapes and sizes and how there are pro's and con's to all shapes and sizes.
Now, I'm a competitive powerlifter, and I understand a lot about fitness and run Barbell Brigade. I've wanted to squat over 500 pounds for a long time, so I just started training and really focusing on my squats. When I was laser focused like that, how I looked almost didn't even matter because I was trying to achieve this physical feat. I ended up squatting 515 a few months ago, but as soon as I did that, I was like, “Okay, I don't look my best. I need to burn this weight off.”
When I was training to squat 500, I was really strong, but I felt stiff and heavy. I was up at about 220 pounds. So if my kid wanted to run around on the playground, I’d think, “I can't be running. I’m going to blow my knees out.” Now, having a kid who’s about to turn five, I want to be as well-rounded as possible. I want to get back down to probably 180 pounds, try to be lean, and then maintain that for the rest of my life, hopefully.
My message to others would be that your body is amazing. From someone that has swung back and forth in weight like a pendulum, trust that your body can do amazing things regardless of your weight. The most fun part is the journey, maximizing every step and having fun. —as told to Keith Nelson
This story appears in the October 2022 issue of Men's Health
Keith Nelson is a writer by fate and journalist by passion, who has connected dots to form the bigger picture for Men’s Health, Vibe Magazine, LEVEL MAG, REVOLT TV, Complex, Grammys.com, Red Bull, Okayplayer, and Mic, to name a few.
